Falling In Love

For a long time, I've always pictured myself falling in love. Being filled with that over powering, heart bursting, love for someone else; and throughout my love life, there have been times where my heart was full with emotion but when it came to the love I held for myself, that feeling was no where to be found.

ဖ As of recent, I've been thinking extensively about different aspects of my life - the friends and family I have, the quality of those relationships, what stage of life I'm in, whether I'm happy, etc. And eventually this train of thought brought me to the most important topic/question yet: Self Love. I want to clarify, before delving into this subject, that I have never hated myself and realize I'm very lucky for that because there are many people who live everyday like that BUT I can say that I am not 100% comfortable/accepting/in love with myself. I truly believe that loving yourself is often times a very lengthy, intensive, process that takes a lot of time and effort on your part but I know that I need to be more proactive if I ever want to reach that moment where the overpowering love I have is for myself. 

ဖ This random outburst of my thoughts stemmed from reading a few articles about self love one day. I forgot how powerful words can be in influencing your train of thought and, while reading, was inspired to put more effort into the relationship with myself by some of these quotes:

“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on." – Maxwell Maltz

 “Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?”– Brigham Young

 “You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”– Louise L. Hay

 “When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits – anything that kept me small.  My judgement called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving. – Kim McMillen

Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives. – Louise L. Hay 

Growth begins when we start to accept our own weakness." – Jean Vanier

ဖ Each quote held its own raw truth. To think that all the times I had thought negatively about myself affected me as if I was "driving through life with my hand-break on" or to realize that there was no reason to feel guilty from walking away from the unhealthy things in my life, left me speechless. And although there is an increased effort to promote mental health, the lasting effect that society/culture has had on the way individuals view themselves is astounding. We often confuse humanity being a social culture with humanity needing society's approval. Every day, I interact with a variety of different people and despite the factors which make each one of us different, I see the same need for love that really begins within.

ဖ My personal goal for when I read this post again, whether tomorrow, a week, a year, 5 years from now, is to always see a growth in myself. Even now, I have seen the change in the way I hold myself, love myself, love others, compared to the beginning of the year & let me say, FUCK, I feel so much better. I love so much harder. I live so much more. I went from craving fleeting moments of happiness to feeling as if my heart may burst from just how many times I feel love for myself, for others, and from others. Those moments, that love, is what makes my life worth living. And so to eloquently wrap this up, I am so excited to see what my relationship with myself brings to life and to help show others just what it can do for them.

xoxo
-Lianna